People are always doing bucket lists and they are usually pretty lame. So here's mine. Hopefully it's not as lame or else I look like an idiot.
- Use an escape pod and/or hatch
- Take my glasses off, gently bite on the frame and whisper ‘Make the call.’
- Earn the nickname Dr. Funkenstein
- Grow a salt and pepper beard and only be seen in cardigan sweaters
- Emerge from a burning building baby in hand and ask the mother, ‘Is this your child?’
- Knock the contents off a desk and make sweet, sweet love to a woman
- Receive a tap on my shoulder in a French restaurant and be rushed out the back by security
- Incite a riot after my wrongful conviction
- Take shrapnel damage and utter the phrase, ‘I ain’t got time to bleed.’
- Find gold in them there hills
- Train my dog to fetch me beer, slippers, and loose women
- Be money and not even know it, baby
- Create a method to teach women math and science
- Kill a dictator, arrive late at a party and say, ‘Sorry, I got held up.’
- Trademark the phrase ‘I fly below the hard deck.’
- Be mistaken for a young Clive Owen
- Dispatch of 5 henchmen, spit on the ground and say, ‘You’re not so tough.’
- Win a Grammy for my spoken word album titled: Balls Deep in Bakersfield
- Pull my gun from its holster and state, ‘Your move, pal.’
LAWL. Best. Thing. Ever.
ReplyDelete